My Own Way
by MRS Jeevas

I wrote 'My Own Way' because I was bored. That's the long and short of it.

Chronologically within the story's timeline, 'My Own Way' is first, but it was written as the fifth complete story, with 'Watari Pt 2' partially written in the background. Therefore, if you are reading these as a chronicle of them being written, I recommend that you read from 'It Matters' first, then come back here after reading the introduction to 'Watari Pt 1: L's Heirs'.

I was writing 'Watari Pt 1' and reached chapter 28. Then hit a bit of an obstacle. I had plenty to write, because basically I wanted to get in everything that happens on the day that spans 'Watari Pt 1' and 'Pt 2'. I considered how many chapters that would take and realised that this was going to be a very, very long story. I was just going to plough ahead and do it, because I thought there wasn't enough for a whole new story. Spoiled-kitten counselled winding this one up and starting another.

I kept writing. I was on what became the original chapter five of 'Watari Pt 2' when I just slid to a stop. It was all very messy. I could effectively stop there, but that would have left me with 'Watari' having around 37 chapters. Spoiled-kitten, being the wise diplomat that she is, still advised me that people would be put off by a story of that length. She asked if I couldn't just come up with something to continue the story, but split it into two shorter stories, rather than one whole one.

As I still hadn't published 'Poisoned Rationality', the only stories in the public domain were 'It Matters' and 'All The Way Here'. I had plenty of time to just keep writing and see what happened. I did that, but hit a block. I couldn't show anyone the story for advice on getting past it because Miyamashi and I hadn't finished writing the 'Eternally Pwnt' chapter, so Awhaaaa and Spoiled-kitten were stuck at that point. I stared at the stalled storyline and couldn't decide what to do, so I put it down and walked away.

The trouble was that I was really enjoying writing, but couldn't see where I was going with 'Watari'. After coming back and staring at it some more, I opened Adult Fanfiction and wrote 'My Own Way'. I did it straight onto their on-line notepad (it was only later that I cut and pasted it from AFF onto my own hard-drive).

The story was a pleasure to write. After 'All The Way Here', I hadn't thought I wanted to touch the canon, but it was a whole different writing experience to create 'My Own Way'. Plus there is something so deliciously evil about writing Mafia!Mello. I did occasionally go and look at the stalled chapters of 'Watari', that I was supposed to be writing, but mostly I just sat there diverting myself with chapters of 'My Own Way'. So easy to write.

It was during this time that Monkeybird turned up in my DeviantART gallery and pointed a cyber-gun at me. There was the distinct cracking of cyber-chocolate, then she said, 'Matti, I want your stories in your DA gallery please.' I smirked at her and played Runescape a bit, but she was adamant. I checked out the rules of DA and read that all important (and highly subjective) line: if a story has literary worth, then it will be designated art and not pornography. I ran it past Spoiled-kitten, who basically warned me that DA moderators are very random and she would hate to even guess what they thought might constitute literary worth. She did, however, agree with Monkeybird that she'd love to see these stories on DA. I considered it and decided that 'literary worth' must mean something that is more than just the smut scenes.

I uploaded 'My Own Way', 'It Matters' and 'All the Way Here'. Until then, all of my stories had been on Adult Fanfiction only, where they'd been slowly gathering hits in the hundreds. I was thrilled to bits with that. Nothing prepared me for what was about to happen. Suddenly it seemed like everyone and their dog was reading the stories. I was getting beseiged by private and public notes asking after the two and a half stories that weren't in the public domain. The hits and people watching me, on AFF and DA, doubled, then trebled, then went through the roof. With 'My Own Way' finished, I now had to face the utter mess that was the end of 'Watari'. It was all a bit scary.